Wait, what? PhD, that can’t be right…

But indeed, something struck me like an epiphany last week, as I was working in the lab. PhD…that’s serious business. I have to write a thesis and defend it in about a year and 8 months…um, whaaaaaaaat?

Usually I get shocked by sudden realizations when things don’t work out at the lab, leading to frustration. And indeed, work hasn’t been proceeding as planned lately. I also noticed that I’m almost halfway into my supposed 3-year PhD, and it’s a little scary to admit that I don’t have nearly as much done as I THINK I should.

Of course, all my friends see is me travelling here and there every weekend, enjoying the freedom of the “European lifestyle” and experiencing what the world has to offer. No one really sees between the weekends, where hours are spent on trying to get one process to work, where frustration and disappointment turn into silent curses, where time is too precious to lose.

Just some thoughts…let’s reflect on them with a walk through a weekday in the “real” life of Annie.

Annie’s desk at work in Belgium…messy or not?

When there is nothing to worry about, it’s so easy to say, “Do not worry about tomorrow.” (Matthews 6:34). However when it does strike, worrying can be so nerve-wrecking. When I have to delay an experiment because a chemical is out of stock or an equipment is booked, I can’t help but worry about the progress of my work.

Let’s get some good ol’ liquid nitrogen.

Then again, the strange thing is that I usually DON’T feel the pressure that a PhD student should be feeling, which ironically makes me worried. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me, and I begin to ask myself questions. Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not doing enough work? Is travelling during weekends too much? Should I be working on Saturdays as well? Am I ever going to publish any papers? Am I going to have enough to show at the end of my PhD to warrant the degree? What is the purpose of all of this???

Why, you look sleepier than I am, little guy.

One thing I’ve learned from being in Europe is to notice the tiny things around me that make life a little better, even in the lab where I work every day. The other day I noticed that the two meters attached to the argon tank formed two funny looking eyes, and though it was a tough day, it made me smile.

Soxhlet not dried? Miracle accomplished.

Learning to be thankful also alleviates stress significantly, especially when we learn to be thankful of each small accomplishment that we managed to achieve, or things that just WORK. Friday morning I arrived at the lab to find that my acetone Soxhlet rinse, which had been running overnight, was still running. I’ve had occasions where the acetone has completely evaporated despite the cooling mechanism – not what was supposed to happen – so I half expected an empty flask roasting in the heat. I was surprised to find something that actually WORKED for once, and I just felt…thankful. For once I didn’t have to rush to get my probably contaminated samples out of the apparatus.

Beware of PIRANHA! Approach with care…A LOT of care.

Working in a chemistry lab also developed a sense of paranoia in me. Did I inhale enough toxic silane to cause brain damage? What if that liquid nitrogen pipe explodes and I freeze the entire lab? What if the glass breaks while I’m preparing piranha solution and I lose a hand? Keeping these hazards in mind, though, also prompts me to be much more careful with what I do so I don’t hurt myself and others.

Ready to do some gas phase silanization? Don’t get the pipelines mixed up!

It reassures me, however, that I still enjoy doing what I’m doing. You enjoy your work when you’re okay with being busy. You enjoy your work when you look forward to the challenge of planning. You enjoy your work when you find a tiny tingle in your heart as you learn something new at work (like SEM or confocal). You enjoy your work when you’re smiling, maybe subconsciously, while you work. I think I still enjoy my work, thank God.

Aside from the main lab shown in the pictures above, I have to work in a cleanroom. Now, I have a love-hate relationship with the cleanroom. Sometimes I really look forward to doing work there, but sometimes I just loathe it. The reason why I don’t particularly like it at times are as follows.

1. It’s in another building. Not a problem unless it’s raining/snowing and I have to transport samples in between the labs…
2. It’s not really “our” cleanroom. Even though the operators are super nice, there is still something about working in a “common” lab that makes me feel uncomfortable.
3. I can’t listen to my music while I work, because of #4.
4. I constantly look like someone who is working on developing biological weapons or something, like this…

I swear they put the mirror there so everyone can take a self-portrait as they pass by. This was taken in last May, but I still look like this every time I enter the cleanroom. When you put on gloves and work in the cleanroom all day, your hands can get all sweaty…yuck. Oh, but those goggles saved me big time. I was filtering PMMA in toluene when the syringe burst, spraying the solution all over my face, but thanks to the goggles at least it didn’t get into my eyes, and I am not blind. Ever since that incident I wore goggles every time I did anything in the lab, no matter how small (re: paragraph above about hazards).

Hmm…which buttons do I press?

The X-ray reflectivity machine is probably one of the most used machines in my work. Here’s one of my other irrational paranoia. I am always worried that I’d forget to turn off the shutter and that when I reach my hand inside to change the filter, the X-rays would burn my hands and I’d become permanently disabled. Of course I wouldn’t even be able to open the door without the whole machine shutting down, if I did forget to turn off the shutter…

Friendly note from the supervisor: DO NOT STEAL MY STUFFS!

Note to self: Try not to get in trouble with the supervisor, although if I ever do, it’s probably not because I stole something from the X-ray machine…

Warning warning, danger danger! Kudos to whoever designed this

This is seriously one of the best programs ever designed…in terms of amusement factor. Aside from this humourous warning, there are a bunch of others, such as this one. Bonus points for being run on an old-fashioned Mac!

Sometimes I just want to press this…no WordPress pun intended.

And right now, I feel like I’m entering my almost-mid-PhD crisis. It’s a bit overwhelming to realize that I’m ACTUALLY almost halfway through…whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it there for a second. Isn’t it a little too fast?! I really do get the urge to just press that big red emergency button and say…STOP! Just…PAUSE! Slow down for a moment, I’m not ready to continue. My experiments aren’t working! I don’t have results yet! I’m not ready for my confirmation exam! I don’t know what I’m doing! Ahhh!!!

Can I just sleep now?

At the end of the day, life goes on whether we get desired results or not, and I cross my fingers and hope for the best while trying different alternatives to make things work. I suppose having to toggle between two countries does make things slightly more complicated, though that was expected at the beginning, when I decided to take on the challenge. I do get somewhat tired though, with all the moving around. It seems like I’m living the life of a snail, carrying a mobile home on my back.

The journey will continue. Endure it, embrace it, love it! Annie will do it!

Yes, I finally went. I’ve been saying I wanted to go to Ghent for the longest time, yet after two stays in Louvain-la-Neuve, it still escaped me. Most of the time it’s due to laziness that I skip out on trips. I mean, it’s a winter weekend and all you want to do is snuggle in the warmth of your bed in the morning instead of venturing out in the cold! I often give in to the temptation of sleeping in while forgetting that the joys of travelling and wandering are just a tug of an eye away.

And indeed, when you overcome the fatigue and drag your stubborn body out of bed, it only takes about 5 minutes to shake your head awake. Then you get dressed, fling your bag onto your back, leave the door behind for a day, and dive into a whole new world. Then when you see the beauty of the world in front of your eyes, you wonder why you were ever too tired to explore.

Ghent is, as best as I can put it, too beautiful to miss. Most people would want to see Bruges if they even stop by Belgium during their Eurotrips, but boy, Ghent tops Bruges in my book. I wasn’t a fan of Bruges when I visited last April, and truthfully, I don’t think I give Bruges enough credit. Ghent, however, deserves all of my recommendation for those planning to visit Belgium. It is as underrated a city as Belgium is as a country for travel.

I had the same problem with Ghent in terms of its name as I did in Bruges, only this time, it’s even more complicated. (Of course, Ghent is also in Flanders, the Flemish region of Belgium.) You see, Bruges is the same in French and English, and is only spelt “Brugge” and pronounced differently in Flemish. Ghent, being the English spelling, is “Gent” in Flemish and “Gand” in French. I’m actually still unsure about its pronunciation; I believe in English, it’s “gent” with the “g” sounding like “girl”. In French it’s more like “gone” without the ending “n” sound. (I’m no linguistic expert and I probably explained that very poorly…)

Onto the trip: before I visited I did some research to find out what I should see and do, and one of the things that I was determined to do was stay until the sun has gone down, as night in Ghent was supposedly stunning. Arriving in Ghent at around noon, that meant I had about 7 hours to spend in the city, assuming that it gets completely dark by around 18:30 and I take the 19:24 train. Let’s see how that worked out. (Full picture album here.)

The first thing I noticed when I got off the tram at Korenmarkt (Ghent town centre) were these strange dancing statues on top of a building. I realized afterwards that Ghent is filled with these figures on rooftops all around the city, and that became one of the things I really liked about Ghent.

This angel holding a sword and a shield on a lamppost would be my favourite statue in Ghent. Just look at its badassery, it totally looks ready to strike that light bulb! (Upon closer look it’s probably ready to slay the snake-like figure that it’s standing on…)

The interior of St.Bavo’s Cathedral is amazing. Lots of fine sculptures, including one of Jesus nailed on the cross. It was the first time I could actually say that a cathedral stands out among the countless ones in Europe, as I usually find cathedral interiors one and the same. I could walk around for hours in St.Bavo’s and admire the various works displayed in the many rooms that surround the central area.

The cathedral also houses the altarpiece known as The Adoration of the Mystic Lamb. Though unfortunately I wasn’t allowed to take photos of the paintings, the 4 Euro admission fee to see this work of art was well worth the cost. Recommended!

Aha, it didn’t occur to me that the river would be frozen, oops! No boat ride! (Not that I was planning to go on one…) The Graslei and Korenlei areas in Ghent are THE places to be to stroll and appreciate the elegant façades that fill the city of Ghent. You literally see rows and rows of impressive medieval architecture and the sight is simply magnificent!

I was lucky to catch the good weather this weekend or well, just on Saturday, as it started to snow again on Sunday. Any day with sunshine is an unexpected blessing in Belgium, and what gorgeous sunshine we had on Saturday! Having the sun as the company made wandering and strolling that much more enjoyable, even though it was quite freezing!

Ohai there, Mr.Sculpture. Taking a dive? Seems like you got a little stuck there. I’m not sure why there is a sculpture in the middle of the frozen river or why he is holding a tourist information centre sign as his trident…all of this is just so amusing.

Up the belfry I went to see Ghent from above. I didn’t really like this belfry experience…perhaps it was because the space was so confined that only one person could traverse the corridor at once on the top floor. I constantly felt like someone would come up behind me and push me…gahh! Anyway, the structure seen here is St.Nicolas’ Church. A part of the city centre is under construction.

Around sunset I stumbled upon this open area where I saw some rather interesting carvings on the ground. They all seem like leaves of some sort, although for some reason only the maple leaf-shaped one is in 3D…hmm. There seems to be inscriptions inside each “leaf”, written in odd letters. I wasn’t able to decipher any of them…

Night couldn’t have come any sooner! I was actually quite anxious for the sun to set because I didn’t want to miss the 19:24 train, as it would require me to wait for an hour for the next one. Alas, here’s a “night” scene of Ghent…with blue skies! Actually, I like the shiny lights against that deep blue background. It gives “night” a whole new definition. I guess going to Ghent during the winter was a good idea, as I’d probably have to wait till 21:00 to see this if I came during the summer.

And Ghent has a lot of bicycles!!! This was taken right outside the train station, and it’s not at all representative of the massive amount of bikes that I saw! Imagine this being the quarter-circle of the open space that was filled with bicycles…why so many???

So this, ladies and gentlemen, was Ghent. I am very tempted to say that it is now my favourite Belgian city visited, overtaking Dinant…but I’m not sure, NOT TOO SURE. Heh. I haven’t decided where to go next yet. Maastricht and Antwerp are on my “to go and can go immediately” list, but this weekend I might just stay in and rest, maybe catch up on some blogging on past destinations unwritten (i.e. Leuven and Cherbourg). See you next week!

Well, I went to Riga. And I came back alive, which could be considered a miracle.

Let me start by saying that this past weekend had perhaps the coldest days during this winter season. It was -8 in Bordeaux, and I heard that the city, which rarely sees snow during winter, has been covered in white. I had just flown back to Belgium on Thursday, with a trip to Riga booked the next day. Weather forecast said that it’d be -25 in Riga during the weekend, -36 with the wind chill. Uh oh.

Hmm. Dilemma. The sudden cold attack wasn’t expected. Was I going to be conservative, cancel my trip, lose the flight cost of 50 Euros (which wasn’t all that much, really), or live the spirit of the true north strong and free and put myself through the challenge of the extreme?

Not gonna lie, but it was actually a very hard decision. I was on the brink of NOT going because as much as I’d like to say I’m not afraid of cold, I am. One can be used to cold weather, but not immune to it. And I had been away from those bleak Canadian winters for two years now (not that Canadian winters are that cold anymore, apparently), so I wasn’t sure if I was totally ready for it.

In the spirit of “Do now, regret later, then never regret” (kudos to my role model Geoff), there was no backing out. So I stuffed everything I thought I’d need into my backpack, hopped onto a train to Charleroi, and off I went into the unknown once again.

Latvia in February turned out to be quite a fantastic experience. Okay, it really wasn’t as cold as expected; I think I exaggerate everything in my mind, just to get mentally prepared. Then again, Canada has indeed trained me well for the past 15 years, hah! During my one day and a half in Riga, I made a few notes about the trip and concluded with ten (hopefully convincing) reasons to visit Riga, some particularly pertaining to a freezing February. Here we go! (Click here to see all of the pictures on Facebook.)

Reason 1: It’s cheap. The flight was cheap. The hostel was cheap. The food was cheap. Everything was cheap.

The cheap flight was ultimately what really drove me to book this trip to Riga, with return tickets from Brussels-Charleroi at 50 Euros. Winter probably has something to do with the low rates…go figure. An additional note aside from price: when given the choice, I’ll always choose a window seat over the aisle, whether it’s a flight or a train ride. Only from a window seat can I catch glimpses of breathtaking views like the one above, on the way back to Charleroi. At first I wasn’t even sure if those were clouds or snow islands…but it’s gotta be clouds. I think this is the closest I’ll ever get to viewing the Earth from the universe. Simply spectacular.

Reason 2: Latvia sounds exotic and mysterious. It’s more east than typical eastern Europe and almost as north as the Scandinavian countries! I guess I completely neglected its latitude throughout my planning…

…but the latitude indeed brought its own surprises! Approximately 10 minutes before 5 o’clock in the afternoon on Saturday, the sun was setting into the horizon. I was running towards the Daugava River to catch the final moments before the sun disappeared, racing with the orange globe. Alas, I lost. The sun sunk faster than I had anticipated, but wow, it was stunning.

Getting back on topic, Riga is not your typical popular European destination. By no means is it anything like Paris or Rome or Barcelona, and really, what did I know about it before visiting? Close to absolutely nothing, which was precisely why the visit was necessary to break out of the norm!

Reason 3: The Lat is the second (or third? or fourth?) highest-valued currency in the world. Take that, British pound!

1 Lat is approximately 1.43 Euros. It was funny when I first arrived in Europe and had to convert everything back to the Canadian dollar. Now that I’m completely used to the Euro, it was strange having to convert everything to Lats during the trip. Oh, that card in the middle, it’s an electronic bus ticket, 0.50 LVL.

Reason 4: They speak Latvian. It’s always fun to be in a place where you have absolutely no idea what anyone is saying.

Everyone should join a free walking tour during a visit to Riga or any of the Baltic States. Of course, it’s much more comfortable and preferable in the summer when your feet aren’t frozen! Here in red is our cute, energetic tour guide. Thankfully she spoke English!

Though, it is fun learning random words in different languages during travel. When you go around, you pick up words here and there. Latvian vocabulary of the week: iela = street, paldies = thank you, lidosta = airport. Simple as that!

Latvian vendor outside the central market, selling handmade Latvian crafts even in the unusually cold weather.

Reason 5: It’s fun to wander around the Old Town. Riga has a very lovely Old Town, a cute and colourful maze full of hidden surprises!

Getting lost and squeezing through the tiny streets in Vecrīga (Old Town) was certainly a lot of fun, even in the snow! You can play hide-and-seek with your friends here for hours, turning odd corners and finding random public squares all over the place. While you wander, stop to adore the charming architecture of the historic centre, painted with all sorts of bright colours, making all the buildings look like doll houses. Quite delightful!

Reason 6: Latvian cuisine is delicious. Not something I’d want to eat every single day, but unexpectedly delicious nonetheless!

So apparently Lido was the place to go for Latvian cuisine, and it was so good (and cheap) and there was such a diverse selection of food that I had lunch AND dinner there. Lunch consisted of cabbage roll with pork, some more pork with a buttery sauce, fried potatoes, and beer. I gotta say the beer wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary, but boy, the pork was amazing. That buttery sauce, whatever it was, was de-li-cious.

For dinner, I had fish with onion and cheese, a chicken (or pork) croquette, a glass of kefir and a glass of cranberry juice. Needless to say the fish and the croquette were irresistibly tasty, but I gotta comment on the kefir. It is some sort of “butter milk”, as explained by the waitress with limited English – you could probably tell by now that the Latvians like milk and butter with their food – and is apparently a common drink served with any meal in Latvia. I was warned that it could be too sour for a foreigner’s liking, but at 0.30 LVL per glass, there was no reason to not give it a try. Turned out it tasted just like your typical yoghurt, with a milkshake-like consistency, rather interesting, indeed.

Reason 7: Riga is a true winter wonderland in February. I have a legitimate excuse to look like an Eskimo in this weather.

The selected attire during the trip included: one pair of boots, two pairs of socks, three layers of pants, four layers of shirts/sweaters, two hats (I had another one on top of the gray one here), one pair of gloves, one coat, and one scarf. It was enough to keep me warm most of the time, although my hands and feet did freeze periodically and I did end up with ridiculously dry lips from which I am still recovering. I’m glad I was well-prepared with the hat though; I usually don’t wear hats, but it would have been a nightmare to have frozen ears!

Reason 8: No crowds anywhere during the winter. It’s a completely different experience from any high-season travelling!

Even the locals say that it’s an unusually cold winter, and most of them would rather stay in the warmth of their homes, not to mention travellers! There were few, however, who were as crazy as I was and chose to go for Riga during this time of the year. Go us! Shown above is the Freedom Monument that marks the independence and sovereignty of Latvia.

Reason 9: Snow. In the winter, Riga glistens in beauty in its bright, snowy gown.

To me, winter just isn’t winter without snow. And I’m not talking about snow that falls and melts right away, but the kind that STAYS! I was completely ready to dive into spring after a disappointing “winter” in December and January, but Riga brought back all the joys of winter within its glamour. The crisp sounds of boots in snow, the sparkling dazzle of the rooftops, the smell of dry, icy air as it shocks the nostrils…call me bizarre, but it made the journey all the more enjoyable.

Didn’t think I was gonna skip out on a view of the city from high above, did you? Here we are on top of St.Peter’s church in the Old Town, looking into the city of Riga.

Reason 10: The frozen Daugava River is just grand. Maybe you’ll see some ice fishing going on, if you’re lucky.

The sheer width of this river makes me doubt, once again, whether the Garonne in Bordeaux is as wide and grand as it is in my imagination. I can never seem to believe it. Anyway, the Daugava is completely frozen here, with the Stone Bridge connecting the east and the west banks. Anyone up for a skate on the ice?

This concludes my recount of the trip to Riga, Latvia. I haven’t written such a detailed post in awhile, and I hope you enjoyed my overview of this short weekend break. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to revisit the city in the summer, and perhaps add in the rest of the Baltic States too. Well, until next time!

Well, to be fair, there were two days last week where the temperature was slightly lower than the rest of the week, dropping to a low of approximately -3 degrees Celsius. During these two days, fog and mist wrapped Bordeaux in a sheet of translucent white. The air was particularly fresh, even though everywhere you went, fog followed you around and visibility was almost non-existent.

It was beautiful, as if I was seeing everything through a thin screen, a little blurry, a little eerie, a little intricate.

Enshrouded by the delicate mist as I was walking to work one morning, the exterior atmosphere was unusually yet pleasantly refreshing, even mildly invigorating.

I take almost the same monotonous path to work every morning, but on this day, mist continued to guide the way as I approached my lab building. The slightly graying air formed a nearly continuous gradient with the pastel blue sky.

Waiting for the tram at the station in the afternoon, the blue sky has disappeared and transformed into an invisible background, fused with the fog that showed no sign of retreat. The rails further down the tracks were barely visible. Were we waiting for a ghost train to arrive from the eleventh dimension, or have we been unknowingly swapped into Platform 9¾?

Aside from the green grass, there were no traces of colour on this chilly winter afternoon. This felt like the entrance to the Forbidden Forest. I was seriously starting to think that I somehow entered the world of Harry Potter.

Palais de Justice with its pine cones, in the fog, before it got completely dark. After living across from it for a year, I still haven’t taken the time to go inside the actual building. I hope I get to it before I leave Bordeaux for good.

Gas station right by where I waited for a friend to pick me up for dinner that night. Seems a bit deserted, but I assure you Bordeaux is not a ghost town.

Heading back home at around 10pm that night, the fog still lingered. Even as a Canadian – no we are not immune to cold, contrary to popular belief – I’d have to say it was quite freezing that night. The tram, with heated interior, couldn’t have came too soon.

Following the fog attack, we had a few days of gentle, drizzling rain, barely enough to merit the hassle of bringing an umbrella. And now we’re back to sunny days of 13 degrees Celsius, warm like spring. I’d better enjoy the sunshine while I can, before heading back to Belgium next week, because I know I won’t be seeing much of it when I return. Sorry Belgium, you’re a nice place and all, but unfortunately the sun shuns you, and that makes me sad

In the midst of four fully-scheduled days of seminars, workshops, games, shows, and interactions at the gospel camp, I would sometimes escape from the crowd to linger in a quiet place by myself. It was no doubt fun to be with so many enthusiastic, passionate, energetic people my age, but some peaceful personal time was much desired and required.

Nouans-le-Fuzelier was, if I may risk offending anyone, in the middle of nowhere. I think the location was chosen intentionally over say, a big city like Paris, so that even though we spent most of our days with other people, we were able to embrace the beauty of nature while renewing our hearts and our minds, away from the suffocation of noise, pollution, and stress. In turn, we were able to truly draw closer to our God, our creator.

Here are some pictures that I took while I was spending some time by myself.

The night before we headed to Nouans-le-Fuzelier, the group from the Bordeaux Chinese Christian Fellowship stayed at a church near Aubervilliers in Greater Paris. This was the view outside the entrance. Truly nothing too spectacular, but the vivid blue sky that night and the mystic clouds gave the whole landscape a feeling of calmness and serenity.

There was a little lake at the farm where we stayed in Nouans-le-Fuzelier where we took a break after lunch on the first day. The reflection of the woods in the lake, even though the trees have all shed their leaves, is quite picturesque.

Winter frost on a thin branch outside the camp at Nouans-le-Fuzelier. People say it’s been a warm winter, but that’s assuming winter has already gone. No snow in Paris yet, but I did see a little bit of snow in Belgium when I was still there. I believe that winter is just beginning this week, seeing the drastic temperature drop in Bordeaux. Bienvenue!

Holes in a leaf after the rain.

There were several cats at the farm in Nouans-le-Fuzelier. What a beautiful animal, so gentle and tamed.

I love pigeon-watching, especially in Paris. Pigeons in Paris are more “enriched” than the ones I’ve seen in any other city because they’re so spoiled! While observing them for a good half an hour, at least two passerbys scattered bread crumbs on the ground to feed the pigeons. And I’m not talking about a little bit of bread crumps, but bags and bags of them! No wonder the pigeons are so large they couldn’t even seem to fly…

Well these ones managed to make it up to that branch, so there’s hope for them. One day all pigeons in France will migrate to Paris.

I find it interesting to photograph traces of light in darkness, the darker the better. This was again outside the camp, taken during a solo stroll. How many geometrical shapes do you see, kids?

Playing with light again, this time a small chandelier inside the church, radiating brightness and warmth upon everyone.

Candle in a cathedral, giving off a little bit of light, a little bit of hope.

Back in Bordeaux for two weeks, and heading back to Belgium in less than three weeks. January is certainly slightly hectic…